Chipotle Cheeseburger Patty Melt

Holla ya’ll!

We are well into January here in Philadelphia and you know what’s wonderful?  Today we received our first snowfall.  The snowfall itself is not actually all that wonderful, but the fact that it took so long to get here is pretty awesome.  I mean winter is already like almost half over.  I love it.

You know, about a year ago, a couple inches on the ground would have caused me some serious panic attacks.  “OH NO WHAT IF IT SNOWS MORE WHAT IF IT ICES OVER MY CAR WON’T GO ANYWHERE OMG WILL I HAVE TO WORK FROM HOME MY BOSS WILL HATE ME WHAT NOW I SHOULD JUST CALL OUT SICK UGGGGHHHH I FUCKING HATE IT HERE IF ONLY THEY WOULD PLOW MY STREET I NEED AN SUV!!!!!”  That was pretty much my instant, standard response as soon as the first snowflake fell and it would only intensify from there.

But this year is oh so different!

For one thing, my old evil boss, who hated letting people work from home even in inclement weather, was fired in May.  He was replaced with two awesome, truly caring individuals.  I am so thankful every day for having them in my life now.  Having them in place makes my life so, so, so much easier.  For another thing, I just bought a new car a couple months ago – a 2015 Dodge Durango – so AWD is also a part of my life this year.

It’s amazing how just these two things have lessened the amount of stress and anxiety that I felt almost daily, a year ago!

Now I can take a snowfall for what I think it should be – a perfect excuse to stay inside and make slutty food and drink hot chocolate.  Or whiskey.

Take this chipotle cheeseburger patty melt.  I had been tossing this idea around in my head a while and finally had a chance to make it recently and O. M. G.  I hadn’t been so sure about chipotle mayo with beef – it goes SO WELL with chicken and almost everything else on the planet…. well now I’m wondering why I even doubted it to begin with.  Cuz guess what, it was fucking awesome.

I feel like my recipes can take a lot of effort, and for that I apologize, but not really, because I feel like slutty food, like beauty, takes effort.  And if you came here looking for 30-minute-or-less meals, or one-pot wonders, well you might have stumbled onto the wrong blog.  But please stay a while and give my recipes a try.  They are rewarding!  You can believe me, because I hate waiting to eat and I hate doing dishes.

Chipotle Cheeseburger Patty Melt
Serves: 2

2-4 slices sourdough bread (see notes)
1 1/2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1/2 small yellow onion, diced
1 large jalapeno, diced
1/2 lb. ground beef, formed into two burger patties
Chipotle Mayo
Softened butter

1. Heat a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Spray with your favorite cooking spray, and add the diced onion and jalapeno. Saute until soft and the onion begins to brown, about 5 minutes. When tender, remove from skillet into a bowl and return the skillet to the stove.

2. Butter one side of each bread slice, and place bread butter-side down into the skillet, as if you were making grilled cheese. Divide the shredded cheese into four equal portions, and top each bread slice with a portion of shredded cheese. Keep an eye on your bread and make sure you don’t burn it. Turn the heat down if you have to; but make sure the cheese melts. Cover the skillet if necessary to allow the cheese to melt.

3. While the bread and cheese are getting cozy, grill burger patties to your liking – we like cooking them in a cast iron skillet.

4. When the bread is golden brown and delicious and the cheese is melted, remove them from the skillet to a plate. Top one slice for each sandwich with some of the jalapeno-onion mixture. Place a juicy burger patty on top of the jalapeno-onion mixture. Top with chipotle mayo and the other slice of cheesy bread. Smoosh down to make it slutty, and eat!

For the sourdough bread: I get a sliced sourdough loaf from my grocery store’s bakery, and they call it “panini bread”. It’s more rectangular than round, and is perfect for, well, paninis. If you are able to score this type of sourdough bread, cut one slice in half to create the ‘bun’ for your burger. Two slices of this rectangular bread would be too big, and you’d have to fashion yourself a long rectangular burger patty, which would be weird. If you find sourdough bread that is more rounded, more like sandwich bread than panini bread, then form your burger patty so that it will fit the bread slices nicely.

Please share!

Off-Topic Tuesday :: New Year, Better Me

Not a “new” me, a better me.

Who’s got new year’s resolutions?  I don’t normally do them.  For those of you that do know me, you may remember that I used to have another blog where, a few years ago, I documented my journey through a year of 12 mini resolutions.  I picked one resolution each month and stuck to it for the whole month.  I really liked that.  That was fun – I introduced myself to all kinds of new things: new exercises, new foods, new lifestyle choices.  It was great, but the problem I had with it was by the end of the year I was really struggling to come up with something I wanted to do for a whole month straight.  But I got through the year with 12 resolutions under my belt – some more successful than others.

Last year I didn’t really do resolutions.  I started this blog instead.  😊  And believe me, it was a harder project than I thought!

This year, I really feel the need to set one for myself.  Last year wasn’t the best year for me, for a lot of reasons.  I wrote a little about it here, and really what it comes down to is I didn’t have healthiest year last year.  I didn’t feel good about myself, I didn’t make enough good choices, I stopped going to the gym for a while, and this weighed on me.  For the first time ever in my life, last year, I was called “fat” three times.

  1. While waiting to board a plane, my daughter said she knew why I didn’t want to go to the bathroom on board – because I was too fat to fit into the airplane bathroom.
  2. I encountered an extremely aggressive, road-rage-filled man in my daughter’s school parking lot who called me a “fat bitch”.
  3. My doctor told me at my yearly checkup that I was “a bit on the heavy side, don’t you think?”

The good news is that all of those experiences played a major part in getting my ass back into the gym.  But the bad news is that all of those weighed pretty heavily on me.  For one thing, I never look at myself in the mirror and think that I’m FAT.  Sure, I look in the mirror and wish I could lose a few pounds around my mid-section, but overall when I see myself in the mirror I am not 100% displeased with how I look.  I like that I’m curvy.  But I will look at myself in the mirror, think I look good, then see a picture of me taken the same day and wonder, what happened to the cute chick I saw in the mirror earlier?  I have some kind of reverse body dysmorphia thing going on or something.  I don’t know.

What I do know is, there are some things I need to STOP doing.

  1. No more negative self-talk!  No more nitpicking on myself and the things I want to change.  Instead: LOVE THYSELF.  I need to love myself exactly as I am.
  2. No more comparing.  No more stalking Instagram feeds that are meant to be inspirational fit feeds, but instead make me look at six-pack abs and wonder if I work hard enough, if I will ever have them.  Instead:  LOVE THYSELF.  I need to love and accept myself exactly as I am.  I am 35.  I will never have six-pack abs.  To be honest, I don’t even want six-pack abs, and not because I’m not motivated enough to do the work to get there – but because I have other, more important things I would rather spend my time on.  So I need to stop filling my day with those kinds of images.  It is only damaging my psyche.

And some things I need to START doing:

  1. Positive self-talk.  Fill my head with positive affirmations.  Love myself.  Accept myself.  Praise myself.
  2. Keeping a regular workout routine.  So far I have been maintaining a MWF gym routine, with TThS yoga routine.  This has been good so far but I want to make sure I work on incorporating something active on days when I DON’T go to the gym or do yoga.  Those days I find that for whatever reason, I can’t do the workout that I planned – instead of not working out at all, do something else active instead.
  3. Keep a gratitude diary.

In addition, I have some additional things I want to do – I have us on two different savings plans, and I want to make new recipes.  I would love to make one new recipe a week!  I also have lots of plans for this blog.  I have new recipes to cook and photograph and share with you.

Speaking of my blog – it’s almost been a year since I launched it!  I can’t believe it.  Let me tell you that keeping a food blog is harder than it looks.  It could legitimately be my full time job if I let it.  You know, I launched this blog with the intent of turning it into a money-making machine.  I wanted to put ads on it and generate income from that.  But over the past year, I have done lots of research (read: stalking other food blogs), and do you know what the #1 Most Annoying Thing is?  Blogs that take too long to load – because of too much ad content.  And too much pop-up, bells-and-whistle shit.  It makes me abandon their blog and go back to the drawing board and look for a similar recipe elsewhere.  Guess what – it doesn’t matter how good your food photography is, or how good your writing is – if I can’t get your friggin’ site to load up, I am leaving.  I don’t have the patience.

I don’t want my blog to become that.

So I am rethinking that whole avenue for Slutty Food Blog.  My goal for this blog is to share food with you and make you want to eat.  It’s a virtual way to do what I love to do in real life – cook for people.  So I don’t know.  Maybe someday I will put ads on this site, maybe I won’t.  Who cares.  It’s all about the food.

Also – this year – 2016 – it is THE YEAR that I move!  I am moving out of my house in the city, and into the country.  Or somewhere closer to the country.  I don’t really know yet.  But it will all happen quite fast.  I can’t wait to have a new house, with windows for food photography, with a bigger kitchen, a double oven, a big bedroom, big bath tub.  Dogs… maybe chickens!  Land.  Land, land, land.  A garden.  A greenhouse?  Maybe a greenhouse.  A barn.  A fire pit.  A hammock.  Green trees.  Grass.  A driveway.  OMG, a garage!  So so much to look forward to.

It’s only January 5th and I already feel very positive about this year and what it has in store for me.  I wish all the same optimism to you as well.

Happy new year!  Here’s to better versions of ourselves in the coming year!

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